Bringing simmering issues to the surface goes to the core of conflict management. Rather than smoothing over every interaction, with a broader balance of EI skills she could bring up the issue to her colleague directly, drawing on emotional self-control to keep her own reactivity at bay while telling him what, specifically, does not work in his style. Say, for example, that Esther has a peer who is overbearing and abrasive. And if she were more inclined to influence, she would want to provide that difficult feedback as a way to lead her direct reports and help them grow. These skills require just as much engagement with emotions as the first set, and should be just as much a part of any aspiring leader’s development priorities.įor example, if Esther had strength in conflict management, she would be skilled in giving people unpleasant feedback. But they also include crucial abilities such as achievement, influence, conflict management, teamwork and inspirational leadership. These include areas in which Esther is clearly strong: empathy, positive outlook, and self-control. Nested within each domain are twelve EI competencies, learned and learnable capabilities that allow outstanding performance at work or as a leader (see the image below).
We prefer “EI,” which we define as comprising four domains: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. There are many models of emotional intelligence, each with its own set of abilities they are often lumped together as “EQ” in the popular vernacular.
In the model of EI and leadership excellence that we have developed over 30 years of studying the strengths of outstanding leaders, we’ve found that having a well-balanced array of specific EI capabilities actually prepares a leader for exactly these kinds of tough challenges. But these gaps aren’t a result of Esther’s emotional intelligence they’re simply evidence that her EI skills are uneven. A recent HBR article highlights the skills that a kind, positive manager like Esther might lack: the ability to deliver difficult feedback to employees, the courage to ruffle feathers and drive change, the creativity to think outside the box. Because they’re focusing only on Esther’s sociability, sensitivity, and likability, they’re missing critical elements of emotional intelligence that could make her a stronger, more effective leader. The trap that has ensnared Esther and her manager is a common one: They are defining emotional intelligence much too narrowly. So much for emotional intelligence, she’s starting to think. She just hasn’t been able to demonstrate the kind of performance her company is looking for. It’s strange, though - even with her positive outlook, Esther is starting to feel stuck in her career. And Esther indeed counts EI as one of her strengths she’s grateful for at least one thing she doesn’t have to work on as part of her leadership development. Her manager feels lucky to have such an easy direct report to work with and often compliments Esther on her high levels of emotional intelligence, or EI. She’s always engaged and is a source of calm to her colleagues. She is a problem solver she tends to see setbacks as opportunities. Kind and respectful, she is sensitive to the needs of others.
Personal Competence: These competencies determine how we manage ourselves.Esther is a well-liked manager of a small team. “’Emotional Intelligence’ refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.” * Self-awareness Self management Social awareness Relationship management * Working With Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, Bantam Books, 1998 2 Emotional Intelligence Is The Key To Success